Does More Name Equal More Game? The FAQs

Editor's Note: First off, my sincerest apologies for the delay in posting this follow-up to our riveting lecture series discussing the ins-and-outs of the modern thrice-named NBA player, or as its known in the scientific community, Baller Nomenus Maximus. While those at Open Look Hoops have clearly been gifted with immeasurable wit and incisive analytical skills, we have found God to have mitigated that talent (for the sake of fairness, of course) with an all-consuming laziness which precludes optimal use of said talent in order to protect the collective creative will of the other bloggers. You had probably already drawn that inference anyway, but now that it's out in the open, we can finally begin to grow with one another in an environment free from the dependence and resentment that has thusly shackled our blogospheric courtship.

At the conclusion of our last installment, we had just finished a lovely little thought experiment which left us filled with both excitement and wonder (plus an indulgent lust to dig our old Mahmoud Abdul-Rauf jerseys out of the closet and clutch them longingly against our naked bodies - unless that was just me). But now that we are all plainly aware of the uniquely powerful effects of an increased nomenclature on the games of young NBA players, we find ourselves seeking more. Why is this so, you might ask? Well, my friends, knowledge is power and power burns within us like wildfire, constantly needing its flames stoked and its logs replenished. So, to appease this fickle mistress called power, we find ourselves here, not content with what we have learned, ablaze with inquisition.

On that oddly flowery and poetic note, we present Does More Name Equal More Game? The FAQs. Each question included in the following FAQ is in fact an actual question submitted by you, the reader. We thank those of you who contributed, for without you, we would have had to make these up ourselves.

What's the deal with all the players with three names being from foreign countries? (Adam, Gainesville, FL)

Well, Adam, that's a very astute observation. In our extensive research into the subject we have confirmed that an overwhelming percentage of thrice-named players happen to hail from exotic ports of call. This doesn't surprise us, however. You see, despite our unflinching belief that we here in the States are always on the cutting edge of all the latest and greatest, the international scene has long provided the impetus for such radical social movements as the Phoenix Suns' run and gun offense, the Andrew Bogut Hare Krishna hairstyle (above), and Joakim Noah's French-infused rhythmical draft day shuffle (see video below). It's only a matter of time before the three-name player becomes inexorably embedded within our NBA culture.



It seems like Muslim players would have a built-in advantage when it comes to incorporating that third name. Is that unfair or what? (Richard, Austin, TX)

No, it is completely fair and Islam is a rich and sacred religion. We should embrace our Muslim brothers as friends and colleagues just like our forefathers pictured below. To be clear, Open Look Hoops is a friend to the Muslim community and respects its hallowed place within our theological pantheon. Next question.


I have a hyphenated last name. Do you think that counts, and if so, will this newfound understanding improve my vertical leap in any way? (Mort, Burbank, CA)

Mort, first of all, yes, having a hyphenated last name is like adding an extra half-name to the equation. Second, we're not sure what other way one could possibly improve one's vertical leap than vertically (unless...horizontally?). At the time of publication, there exists no statistical corroboration for your link between number of names and vertical leaping ability, however we here at the Open Look Hoops labs are looking into it. For the moment, the only scientifically-proven method of improving your jumping is by purchasing our very own Open Look Hoops presents Pat Garrity's Jumptastic JumpSoles, yours for only three payments of $29.99.

Hypothetically-speaking, would you ever name your child something that lends itself to going by all three names just to improve his/her basketball game? (Jake, New York, NY)

We're way ahead of you here, Jake, but I'm glad you brought this up. I had been looking for a way to broach this topic, and you've given me the perfect segue. I would like to take this opportunity to announce the birth of my first child, Juan Abdul Tuarasi-Bowers, a beautiful 11 lbs. 8 oz. baby boy. He and his mother will be coming home from the hospital any minite now. Here's hoping he can fulfill his father's own shattered dreams of playing Division III college basketball. No pressure, though.


Well, that about wraps up our five-part investigation into whether more name truly does equal more game. Thank you for your patience and enthusiasm. Now I have to go out back and finish pouring the cement for the new basketball court. He doesn't know it yet, but Juan Abdul and I will be spending the afternoon working on his face-up game. From what I could tell standing outside the hospital nursery, his reverse pivot is a mess. No pressure, though.

Does More Name Equal More Game? Yes! My God, Yes!

Editor's Note: This is the author's response to the title question posed in the previous three installments. Any views expressed in this essay are those of the author alone and, unless readers find them to be particularly insightful, do not necessarily represent the views of Open Look Hoops. Oh, who are we kidding...

So, the question we've been pondering for the last week is whether or not going by more than just the standard first and last name gives a player any advantages over his lesser-named contemporaries. Well, does more name equal more game, as the title inquires? The short answer is simply "well, of course." The long answer, however, is more nuanced and complex.

In the previously posted videos, we were shown brief but representative highlight videos of three of Open Look Hoops' favorite budding young talent. With games as diverse as their genealogical trees, this particular breed of player brings with him a certain "jenesequa" untapped in the more conventionally-named player. What we have found is that the Juan Carlos Navarros, Jose Juan Bareas, and Pops Mensah-Bonsus of the world appear to be able to harness a more defined sense of self-identity which in turn facilitates the type of faith and confidence requisite of greatness. You see, the inclusion of a third name affords the player a 50% increase in the number of heritage-related guiding forces with which to shape their sense of self-efficacy. Disagree? Well, let's if the following little case study changes your tune.

I think it's safe to assume that we are all intimately familiar with former Nuggets guard Mahmoud "Don't Call Me Chris Jackson" Abdul-Rauf. Though undoubtedly remembered most for his valiant struggles in overcoming both Tourette Syndrome and the symbolic oppression of the "Star Spangled Banner," there was in fact a far more intriguing storyline hiding beneath the surface. That storyline is the quiet metamorphosis that took place right under our noses.

After garnering one of the most decorated and impressive collegiate careers in NCAA history, then-Jackson entered the NBA as the third overall selection in the NBA Draft. After a decent rookie season, Jackson appeared to hit a wall in his development during his sophomore campaign. His stats dipped and his confidence was at its lowest in years. Then, following his name change to Mahmoud Abdul Rauf in 1991, he resurrected his game and became the NBA's Most Improved Player in 1993. While some might attribute the resurgence in play to a spiritual awakening accompanying his conversion to Islam, I find it much more convenient to not acknowledge that aspect and focus on the name change alone (and also ignore the subsequent tumultuous and disappointing path his career then took). For visual proof see the following pre- and post-name change videos below. The differences should reveal themselves dramatically to those with a finely-tuned basketball eye. (For those without such an eye, don't worry, I never expected you to read this far anyway.) I refer to this phenomenon as the "Rauf-ification Effect".

As Chris Jackson:




As Mahmoud Abdul-Rauf:



Now, I don't want you to be too hard on yourself here. I didn't see it at first either, but oh boy, you will, and we'll all share a hardy laugh about this someday.

With irrefutable evidence now in the hands of the people, there are a few follow-up questions that inexorably crop up in the analytic hoopster's mind. Those will be addressed in a forthcoming post. Until then, seek comfort in the truth that we together have unfurled, and know that whatever happens in our individual lives, collectively we have discovered something that no one can ever take from us. We have captured lightning in a bottle. What we do with it is now in your hands. God speed.

Does More Name Equal More Game? An Open Look Hoops Videographic Exploration In Three Parts

Part Two: Jose Juan Barea

Editor's Note: This is the second in a series of three videos that will be showcasing the games of the most exciting young thrice-named players. In order for a player to qualify, he must regularly go by at least three of his given birth names. An essay answering the question posed in the title will follow shortly after the third player is profiled.


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