Juwan Howard Demands Trade...Seriously

Minnesota power forward Juwan Howard, acquired this past June from the Rockets in exchange for guard Mike James, has made it known that he has no intention of ever suiting up for the Wolves.

In an interview with a Minneapolis newspaper Sunday, Howard shared his displeasure over the Kevin Garnett trade and expressed his desire to be traded to a team with more immediate playoff aspirations.

"I have been around this league a long time, and I don't have many years left," intimated Howard. "I think I have whined enough throughout my career to have earned the opportunity to bring my selfish attitude and unorthodox shot to a contender who will likely neither want or need me."

When notified of Howard's request for a trade, Wolves GM Kevin McHale offered a typically diplomatic response for a GM seeking bargaining leverage.

"When did we trade for Juwan Howard?" asked an expressionless McHale. "I mean, he definitely seems like the type of player I would want to build around, but I honestly have no recollection of when that trade might have happened."

Howard's agent expressed a similarly cryptic attitude about his client's request.

"You're kidding me, right? Last time I checked, Juwan had been out of the league for the past two seasons. But what do I know? I'm just his agent. Check your facts next time, buddy..."

In spite of the primary parties required to complete a trade having no apparent knowledge of his presence on the Wolves roster, Howard could not keep himself from speculating as to potential destinations.

"Well, like I said, I'm only willing to go to a contender at this point," explained the 13-year veteran. "San Antonio would work. I think my inability to defend would really fit their system. Phoenix as well - I could really slow them down. Cleveland is another one because Lebron needs veteran leaders to show him how not to act. Any of those three would be good fits, I think. Now it's all in the hands of the man upstairs..."

Spurs, Rockets Complete Blockbuster Deal

In a move that will certainly upset the balance of power in the West and likely have a ripple effect throughout the entire league, the San Antonio Spurs sent center Jackie Butler and forward Luis Scola to Houston in exchange for guard Vassilis Spanoulis, a future second round pick, and cash.

The agreement, completed late Thursday, should provide the Rockets with the critical missing components to complement what will be a very strong returning core led by All-Stars Tracy McGrady and Yao Ming. One Western Conference executive who asked to remain anonymous went so far as to suggest that had Butler and Scola been with the Rockets last season, the fate of former head coach Jeff Van Gundy may have turned out differently.

"Let's face it, the Rockets were just a tweak or two away from being a real contender in the West last season. If you asked all the GMs around the NBA what they felt the Rockets were missing last year, 90 percent would give you the same answer: a mediocre backup ccnter to stash on IR and the rights to a solid frontcourt player currently playing overseas. Had Van Gundy had access to those resources, he likely would have been able to save his job."

The Butler/Scola trade looks to be yet another blunder in a long string of hapless personnel moves by the Spurs. Clearly the Rockets have taken advantage of the somehow-reigning champions and set themselves up to be the crown jewel of the Southwest Division for years to come.